The Little Boy and the Violent Man

Dream: 29/1/2017

I’m with an incredibly controlling, abusive man who gets me to do what he wants through threats and violence. I’m terrified of him and I conform, but I’m always looking for ways to escape. At some point, I find my way out into a room with a big piano. I drop the backpack I’m carrying and start banging on the piano keys, trying to attract attention. I hope someone will come. The violent man comes into the room. He’s prepared to be nice and he tries to sweet talk me. I can feel the fear getting the better of me. I’m terrified of him, but I would rather die than go back to the gilded cage. Suddenly, a little boy appears and demands to know why I haven’t treated his backpack better. I try to calm him, hoping the violent man won’t find out that the little boy gave me the backpack. The boy is really upset. He keeps talking about how he’s been really good to me. For some reason, I fly into a rage at his words and start screaming, “That’s not what you’re mad about!” The boy is just like the violent man. He’s super manipulative. He points out the positive things he does for me, thinking that will somehow make me forget all about the abuse. I’m disgusted that the boy and the man are the same. Suddenly, we are surrounded by women. They seem to come from everywhere. I feel relieved. I can’t get away from the man or the boy on my own. The women were attracted by the noise. Someone came. I wake up.

Thoughts/Meaning

I dreamed this after asking my divine self to show me why the ‘grass is always greener’ idea keeps coming up for me around careers (i.e. why when I just get going with something I always decide it’s not right and I don’t actually want it). It’s like a part of me want to go along with things in order to stay safe [the terrified woman at the beginning], but there’s another part of me that knows its not right and that I have to follow my own path [the woman who wants to escape]. So I always end up conflicted, pulled in two entirely different directions and never able to move forward. I think the abusive, controlling man represents how I view society (i.e. patriarchal and threatening). I feel pressured to conform in order to survive and yet I have an intense need to rebel at the same time. There’s no winning. I don’t know if there is a solution, but the dream seems to suggest that connecting with women and my own feminine nature is part of finding my way out of the conflict.

Advertisements

The Man in the Machine

Nightmare: Undated, sometime in late-2014

There’s a man in a machine. He’s going to kill me, so I have to kill him first. He looks like Jim Carry. I know we’ve done this dance before. He gets out of his machine and attacks me with a knife. I lacerate his forehead with scissors. He’s going to kill me. Then I turn and see his son shitting blood in the next room. I suddenly become unimportant as he rushes to take care of his son. I see an image of his son as healthy, on a ride with a girl. She’s asking about his mom. He says he likes her because she sounds like his mom in her messages.

Thoughts/Meaning

I don’t know what this dream means. I think it’s interesting that an incredibly violent figure [the man in the machine] is transformed into a loving caring father, and that my perspective which is at first one of instinct [I protect myself] turns into one of curiosity [watching his son’s memories]. I wonder if maybe my dream life is trying to tell me that things are never as simple as they seem. People that hurt others are often hurting inside themselves. It’s also interesting that this dream came right after asking to know more about my inner feminine. Perhaps the dream is showing me that by fighting against patriarchal values [the ghost in the machine], I’m becoming what I most fear [someone violent] and that the true way forward is to see what’s underneath the surface [the sick child and his memories]. In his memories, the boy wants his love-interest to be like his mother, which is a classic mythological theme (see Oedipus).

My Uncle’s House

Dream: Undated sometime in mid-2014

I live with my uncle. It’s okay there, but then one day I find out that he’s been trying to sleep with one of my friends. I decide to go to California to live with my mom, but at the last minute I change my mind. I go back to my uncle’s house and change my shape and my clothes to see what he’ll do. I go to him for help. At first, he’s really helpful. Then he decides he wants me and he tries to force it. I start trying to break dishes to alert someone, but I find out they’re all teflon. The dishes won’t break. My uncle is getting more and more agitated. I get scared and reveal myself and then accuse him. He tries to say it never happened, but then he slips up saying “it’s not like the other 4 times.” I decide to move out. I get my things and find my face is covered in streaks of blue paint. I try to wipe them off, but the blue spreads and is really difficult to get off. I notice the blue has gone down and stained my shirt and I wake up.

Meaning/Thoughts

No idea. There’s definitely themes about male dominance and patriarchial belief systems [I live in my uncle’s house and he sees women as sex objects]. When I try to get away, I get covered in blue paint. According to some dream websites, this could mean that fortune and luck are coming my way. So possibly the dream is saying that when I finally shake off the patriarchial beliefs [move out], my life will change for the better. But the truth is I really don’t know how to interpret this one…

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑