Some People Want to Stay Cursed

Dream: 10/11/2016

It’s me and a woman. We’re each holding our energy. The woman has me on a power spot and is trying to change my energy dark. I know it’s because of a certain artifact. I call for James. He grabs the artifact and I tell him to get away. As he moves away, the woman’s power lessens, but she knows what I’m doing and manipulates him to come back. Each time, I manage to break her hold on him and every time he gets a little further away. The last time, she loses all her power and I wake up.

Thoughts/Meaning

This dream happened the night after a session I did where the woman didn’t want to work with me. I thought it was because she was afraid of what would come up, but later I realized that she was just so deeply invested in her issues that she doesn’t actually want healing. She pretends to want to change because she knows every one expects her to, but she herself isn’t actually interested in working out her issues. She’s happy being reactive and attacking. I woke up from this dream feeling really calm, but with a sense that  I needed to remember this and write it down. There’s no fear or worry, just an awareness that it means something important. When I debriefed about the session with a friend of mine, she mentioned that I’m well protected. I know that. We all are. I give thanks for that. But it’s interesting… In the dream, I wanted to break the spell on the woman not only for me but for her so she could be free. Only it turns out she wants the curse because it makes her feel powerful, and in that case there is nothing I can do.

A Ball of Flesh

Dream: 30/9/2016

I am rubbing my lower abdomen and stomach area. I can feel an energetic block. It feels condensed. I know it’s ready to come out. I try to pull it out, but it won’t come. Then, I realize it’s completely solid. Pushing really hard, I roll the block down my body, under my clothes. It pops out of the edge of my sweatpants, near my left foot. Immediately, my sister wants to see it, but I yell, “No! Be careful! It’s flesh!” And it is. It’s a ball of flesh. The outside is smooth skin, but it’s cracked. Inside, I can see raw pink flesh, like a meatball that has been singed on the outside. It freaks me out and I wake up.

Crystal Dreaming

Dream 27/6/2016

I’m laying down. Suddenly a great light shines down upon me. I am surrounded by light, bathed in purple light. I like the sensation, but I can feel I’m resisting. There’s a part of me that is terribly afraid. Afraid of the responsibility, afraid of what’s being asked of me, afraid I’m not enough.

I don’t remember the rest of the dream, but there was something about jewels. I remember seeing a white city with a domed temple. I was awakened by a pulse in my foot as though someone was trying to wake me up. My legs were incredibly warm for ages afterwards.

Thoughts/Meaning

On the day that I had this dream, I spent ~30 minutes meditating with a crystal that I bought in Sedona, AZ. During the meditation, the crystal appeared to shift and change in my vision, and I had the feeling that the crystal and I were one. I’m sure the dream is connected to my work with the crystal.

3 A.M. Thought #4

My connection to my higher self is intermittent, which makes my ability to manifest intermittent. I need to prioritize my inner life. I need to go back to grounding and opening up every morning.

3 A.M. Thought #2

When I was a kid, I knew things. I felt things. I could see things other people couldn’t or wouldn’t see. I knew when people had bad intentions, but often the adults in my life would expose their children to things again and again because they didn’t want to deal with the truth. I learned to deny my own knowing. I have so many memories of seeing things I didn’t understand or know how to deal with. I wanted one help so sometimes I took on other people’s stuff. I was like an energetic sponge. Now it’s time to let those memories go, to give them back. I need to clear away everything that doesn’t belong to me so that I can know myself.

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