Arrested by the FBI

Dream: Undated, sometime in late-2014

I’m under house arrest by the FBI for starting a cult based on a children’s book. I really want to escape, but I also feel I should somehow deal with the situation.


This is a short dream! Hmm..well…. Starting a cult about a children’s book clearly references how I built a lot of my identity on what happened to me as a child. The adult me [the FBI]  is trying to help me break free of that identity. But like any cult, it’s not simple to escape. My entire idea of who I am was based around the idea that I’m a survivor. Bad things happened to me as a kid and I got through them, came out stronger. It’s not a bad myth to live by because there’s power in being the person who has overcome things. At the same time, it’s completely based on being the victim. I don’t want to see myself as the victim any more. I don’t want my entire life to be about the pain that I endured. I’d rather that my personal myth be based around the positive experiences I’ve had and the positive qualities that I possess. I’d rather be the hero of my story than the victim of my past.


Storybook: Being Different

Dream: Undated sometime in mid-2014

In my dream, I see myself as a little kid about 5 years old. She’s holding open a picture book and reading a story to me. It went like this:

There once was a walrus born into the body of a teddy bear. His teddy family didn’t understand him. He did weird things and made weird noises. They wanted him to be like them, to be a normal teddy. After many years, he tried to forget that he was a walrus. It was too hard to be different, to be excluded. For many, many years he went about life as a teddy bear, but inside he always felt uncomfortable, like he was a playing at life instead of living. Then one day, he met a walrus at work. He liked the walrus instantly. When they were out to lunch, the walrus was telling a story and suddenly the teddy couldn’t speak. When he finally did, he made walrus sounds! His new friend looked at him in surprise. ‘Is he making fun of me?’ The walrus asked himself, but then he looked at his friend’s face and he knew the truth. A big grin spread across his face. “By god,” he said jovially, “I think you’re a walrus!” Teddy looked at him and began to cry. Someone finally saw him! Not the body he was in, but him, the real him! His memory came rushing back and he remembered that he was a walrus and that that was a beautiful thing.

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