Two Cockroaches

Dream 14/11/2016

My whole family is camped out in a skyscraper. My sister, Jessica, decides to come to the bathroom with me. We’re talking when all of a sudden a huge dead then another alive cockroach falls out of my vagina into the toilet. We both freak out! We wonder if we should tell the parents but I’m so disgusted and embarrassed that I wake up.

Thoughts/Meaning

This dream occurred right after I had a bit of a breakthrough and decided to share everything about myself with my partner. I’d been holding back because I was worried about how he would see me, but also because I was afraid to face certain issues. I was so afraid that I would rather break up and avoid them than face them. I’d basically been blocking and projecting my stuff onto my partner for weeks. It was good to finally talk about it all! Also, the dream happened the day after I took my yoni egg out after getting it ‘stuck’ for 2 days.

Cockroaches can apparently mean a few things in dreams. Click here to read about some of the possible meanings. The fact that they came out of my vagina is extremely symbolic. Cockroaches are renowned for living in dirty places and growing up Catholic, I was taught that being female is dirty. There’s actually an awesome article on how being Catholic affects your mindset about being female, being sexual, etc… Click here to read it.

 

Asking #7

An Asking: Undated, sometime in late-2014

Help me to fully see, understand and heal my love mask. Help me bring to the surface and process any issues still related to this false solution that I present to the world. I ask my guides and my angels to help me fully understand and heal any family beliefs about physical safety that I am carrying in my system. Help me give back and clear any beliefs that I will starve or die violently or experience the apocalypse. Help me to release any thought patterns or beliefs that were imposed on me via my familial heritage about physical safety or my body. Help me to heal this so that I may incarnate fully with love and respect for my physicality. Help me to live consciously in all areas of my life. Amen.

*A lot of my askings actually sound like prayers and end with Amen. Maybe I was never asking, maybe I was always praying…

**I wrote this asking after a series of memories around getting my period as a young girl returned to my consciousness. My mother didn’t handle it well. In fact she dealt with it by not talking about it. I was essentially left to figure things out on my own. I bet that’s true for a lot of women in our culture. We’re made to feel that our body is somehow shameful and so speaking about quite natural parts of our development becomes taboo. I wish it wasn’t like that. I’m also starting to realize that part of uncovering and honoring the inner feminine is to honor and love the outer feminine. I have to learn love and accept my body, which is hard in a society where your value as a women is often perceived as being connected to how you look and how much you weigh.

Asking #6: Finding Juanita

An Asking: Undated, sometime in late 2014

Where is the pain in my heart chakra from? Please show me what my sexual issues are about. Help me to become clear so that I can heal. Help me see what keeps me from accessing my inner feminine.

*At this time, I was obsessed with Shania Twain’s song Juanita, which to me represents every woman’s search for her inner wild feminine.

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