Possible Lucid Dreams?

Dreams from 10/2/2017

Dream 1:

I didn’t remember much of this dream. I only wrote down fragments. Apparently there was something about trying to tame a giant dinosaur. I was working with someone who was absolutely brilliant but socially inept. He seemed to get better the more we worked together. There was also a cheetah involved somehow.

Dream 2:

I’m with a man. We’re running from some bad people who want to hurt us. Suddenly, I realize that I can fly and that just by pointing my fingers at someone in the dream I can make them fly as well. I point at one of the bad guys, and he starts floating up into the cloud with me. He’s shocked at first, but then he recovers and starts thinking nasty thoughts. Immediately he can’t fly anymore and he falls to his death. I think, “He deserved that” and then I can’t fly anymore either. I start falling. I wake up before I hit the ground.

Thoughts/Meaning

No idea if these were lucid or not. There’s definitely evidence in the second one that I knew I was somehow in control though…

Drowning in Toxic Memories

Dream Series: 6/1/2017

Dream 1:

A man takes me to the site of what appears to be some kind of chemical spill. There’s two lakes right next to each other and they’re covered in a weird white foam. The air is filled with dandelion fluff and a strange milky white substance that sticks to my hands and face like spiderwebs. I’m not sure what to do about it, but I know it’s toxic to stay there.

Dream 2:

I’m in the ocean. I live there. I really want to see Hawaii. I hitch a ride with a bunch of whales, careful that they don’t notice me. I’m on the run. When we get to Hawaii, I make a dash for the shore. The whales come after me. They’re vicious. I barely make it to the shore. I start to run up a some steps into the jungle. As I do, I notice I’m breathing. I’m breathing AIR! It feels so different but really good. I feel liberated. At the top of the stairs, I see a baby tiger. He’s playing. Then he sees me and scrambles to get away. I try to tell him I’m not dangerous, but he won’t listen. He runs to the end of the cliff and jumps off with a little growl. I run up the cliff, afraid to find out what happened to him. Turns out there is an amazing waterfall slide right there. The cub is playing at the bottom in the sand. His dad comes up behind me. He’s a tiger, but he’s also human. He claps me on the shoulder. His son is jumping up and down, “Did you see it, dad? Did you see it?” The tiger man laughs. “It’s just like camp dad,” the cub says. “Only better!” The cub wants his dad to try the waterslide. Hid dad jumps down and I can see his leg is bigger than the slide tuber. There is no way he can use it. I get a strange sense of foreboding and hear the words, “Later I would learn a local tip about putting apple cider vinegar in the water and to notify the local police about any intended water use from the imprisonment.” Then I wake up.

Thoughts/Meaning

I read somewhere that dandelion fluff represents childhood. To me, these dreams are about being overwhelmed by my memories of childhood trauma. In the first one, I’m caught in a web and the air is so thick with dandelion fluff that I can barely breathe. I know that being immersed in old childhood pain is toxic, but I don’t know how to get out. In the second one, I’m literally immersed in my emotions [I live in the ocean], but I don’t notice how heavy they are until something changes [I get out of the water and breathe air]. Then it’s obvious that I’m not meant to be living in old wounds. It’s time to let go. To turn to the strong, happy child [the tiger cub] instead of the wounded one. It’s time to remember that sometimes my family was supportive and kind, that even the darkness there were moments of joy. It wasn’t all bad. But adult me has trouble with this [the tiger dad gets stuck in the waterslide] and resists opening up to new ways of seeing things. I’m keeping myself in prison, which is the final message.

 

 

On the Jungle Path

Dream 3/1/2017

Jessica, my younger sister, and I are both on an adventure in Europe, living out of cars. We park in a field but she doesn’t want me next to her so I park across the field. Somehow there are fences between us and I feel very disturbed. I don’t remember there being fences when we first arrived. I can’t see Jessica anymore. I look around. Out in the corner of the field there is a way past the fences. I go through the opening, but it doesn’t take me back to the field. I end up on something called the Jungle Path. I suspect I’m in New Orleans. The jungle path is a series of shops that are connected by a pathway of symbols within interlocking hexagons. When I walk on them, the hexagons light up. I find it exciting until I hear a scream. A shopkeeper is getting robbed. I hide behind a sculpture. The robbers shoot the shopkeeper and leave. I run to him, ask him if he wants me to call 911. He doesn’t have a phone. I tell him I’ll find one and go call an ambulance. He nods. I go, but no one seems to have a phone. Finally, I find a store with a phone, but I can’t remember the address of the shop where I left the man. I’m about to give up, but I don’t. I walk back until I can see the number.  The man is lying in front of #5 on the jungle path. I go back, call the ambulance, and tell them where to find him. When I step out of the shop, I run smack into my parents. Their arms are linked and they’re very drunk. They want me to go with them, but I tell them I have to look after my car. Dad snaps his finger and my car starts rolling down the street. There’s no driver inside. I go running after it, but it’s going too fast for me. Finally it crashes into a garage. The entire left side is dented, but otherwise the car is fine. I get in and park it somewhere safe. Then I go to check on my parents. I don’t find them, but when I’m walking on the jungle path, I realize that if I pause on a hexagon long enough things start to happen. I step on a tiger symbol and the energy of the tiger surrounds me. I am suddenly able to do amazing things! I can climb walls and make massive jumps. I’m really excited about my new abilities when I wake up.

Two Cockroaches

Dream 14/11/2016

My whole family is camped out in a skyscraper. My sister, Jessica, decides to come to the bathroom with me. We’re talking when all of a sudden a huge dead then another alive cockroach falls out of my vagina into the toilet. We both freak out! We wonder if we should tell the parents but I’m so disgusted and embarrassed that I wake up.

Thoughts/Meaning

This dream occurred right after I had a bit of a breakthrough and decided to share everything about myself with my partner. I’d been holding back because I was worried about how he would see me, but also because I was afraid to face certain issues. I was so afraid that I would rather break up and avoid them than face them. I’d basically been blocking and projecting my stuff onto my partner for weeks. It was good to finally talk about it all! Also, the dream happened the day after I took my yoni egg out after getting it ‘stuck’ for 2 days.

Cockroaches can apparently mean a few things in dreams. Click here to read about some of the possible meanings. The fact that they came out of my vagina is extremely symbolic. Cockroaches are renowned for living in dirty places and growing up Catholic, I was taught that being female is dirty. There’s actually an awesome article on how being Catholic affects your mindset about being female, being sexual, etc… Click here to read it.

 

Field Camp

Dream: Undated, sometime in early 2015

I’m at some kind of field camp in the woods. They have strict rules but all I want to do is play in the river and kiss my boyfriend (Gabe). I’m excited that he likes me even though I’m fat. When they find out we were jumping in the river, the camp leader comes to find me and my friends. We are in the shower block. One of the girls steps outside and they start shooting. My other friends try to escape. Some get shot. One gets dragged behind a horse. I walk out. I don’t care if they shoot me. They’re going to do what they’re going to do. I walk up to them, and they take me prisoner. A guy comes and starts telling me how they just wanted to keep us safe from the bears. He says he killed one. I become infuriated and break my handcuffs. I start yelling at  him, “You’ve never fought a bear. I know because I have and you would be way more cut up! It was the worst moment of my life!” I get him to stand on a yellow door trap. I pull the lever and he falls into a vat of bear piss that hunters use so bears won’t scent them. I pull him out. I stood up for myself and now people won’t bother me. I tell everyone I’m going back to look for Gabe. Someone says he will be fine. I negate his sentiment and say something like, “Why? Because good things follow me?”

Meaning/Thoughts

This dream reminds me of my time in high school [Gabe was my sweetheart at that time]. The punishments are totally disproportionate to the crimes [they shoot people for going into the river] and sentences are carried out in the name of keeping people safe [from bears]. Except, I’ve already experienced the worst [I’d fought off a bear]. They can’t keep me safe from something that has already happened, and I’m annoyed that they would try. In the dream, I’m obviously scarred from the experience and believe that I need to keep people at a distance.

Python in the Lake

Dream: Undated sometime in 2014

I’m standing with a crowd of people on a lake edge. The crowd is looking at something. A small snake appeared and I pointed at it. “That’s just what we’ve got here,” a lady near me says sounding annoyed. A little boy points at the water and a giant python emerges. I freeze. I’ve been chased by a python before and they have a perfect sense of smell. I turn and run. I go in the back gate of my parent’s house and shut it. I see their cats sitting in the yard. I know I’m not safe outside. I need to be indoors. I head towards the door, but the way is blocked by spiderwebs. I look for something to break them up with and pick something up covered in crawling insects, but it means I just trade one fear for another. I use my shirt to break up the spiderwebs and run inside. The crawling insects are all over me, but I know a shower will get rid of them. I go to take a shower and wake up.

Thoughts/Meaning

I didn’t write anything at the time. Here’s my current thoughts. Again, I’m looking into my emotional life [the lake] but this time I’m being observed [the crowd]. This could be a reference to group therapy work I did during a 2-year counseling course I had just started in 2014. According to some dream dictionaries, snakes can mean deep healing/transformational work. Maybe I felt like the course wanted to deal with small stuff [the small snake] and I had bigger trauma [the python] to deal with? Or perhaps I was noticing small emotional issues (comfort zone), but the one male on the course kept bringing up huge ones? Either way the big trauma scared me, so I tried to revert to old belief systems [family house with the entrance blocked by spiderwebs]. In the process, I reactivated all my old fears. To come back to balance I needed to cleanse my whole system [take a shower]. Not sure what the cats represent…perhaps that my instinctual self knew that none of my fears were real/justified?

Chased by a Duck

Dream: Undated Sometime in 2014

I’m in a forest with a lake. Something is chasing me. I run into the lake to escape. There are ducks in the lake. A green duck begins to follow me and I know that if it gets to me, something bad will happen. I fall down and try to swim, but there’s too much stuff in the water. All I can do is pull myself along. The duck gets closer and closer. In the end, I start throwing things at it, hoping it will go away. I look up and see a purple fairy on my left. He is flying above the lake. Another is sitting on what looks like a pole of purple light. I look back at the duck but now it’s a man. He reaches me and I wake up. I see him in the corner of the room by the closet and I really start freaking out. He’s there for minute or so. I look away and when I look back he’s gone.

Thoughts/Meaning

I didn’t write anything else down at the time. The lake obviously represents my emotional life, which was filled with crap [old memories, unresolved issues, etc…]. I ran into it because I was running away from my physical life [family problems]. Not sure what the duck represents. Online dictionaries suggest it represents your internal connection to your emotional/spiritual life. I guess in the dream that would mean that even though I was wallowing in my emotions, I wasn’t actually connecting with them in a useful way. Fairies represent magic/joy to me, so they were there to show me that to connect to that magical, spiritual part of myself I had to learn to access my emotions. However, the duck turned into a man because a part of me was afraid that deep inside I was a dangerous, killer male [Freudian conditioning]. The idea that my inner self is dangerous shows itself again!

Even Elephants Have Needs

Dream: Undated, sometime in 2014

There was an elephant running around my parent’s neighborhood. My mom was talking about her her neighbor hid in the fridge until he was gone. I walked into another room and the elephant was there. It was eating. I was frightened. I went to another room. There was a fridge. I decided to hide in it and hope that the elephant went away. I was scared of being stuck in the fridge forever. The elephant ripped the door off the fridge and ate it. I realized he wasn’t scary. He was just hungry. No one would give him what he needed, so he went on a rampage instead. I went back to the kitchen and told my mom where the elephant was. Her response was cold, that it needed to be “taken care of” as though she could surgically remove it from her house. Jaime was cooking. She said she was worried about what people would say.

Thoughts/Meaning

The elephant represents my need for love and my anger at not receiving it from my family? I didn’t get my needs met as a child. So as an adult, I went around destroying things (i.e. my connection with my family) and making other people angry in the process. It’s obvious that no one will talk about the lack of love in the family system, so it became “the elephant in the room”. Everybody tries to ignore it by numbing out and being cold [hiding in fridges], but it’s too big a problem to ignore. Interesting to note that the elephant is hungry (i.e. just wants love) and that if it got love, it would be beautiful and full of wisdom.

Orcas in Atlanta

Dream: Undated, sometime in 2014

I was with dad and Amber on the docks of the Atlanta. We were talking to one of the fishermen who said he’d seen orcas, heaps of them. He said they’d started to like the port almost as much as Atlantis. The problem with going to see them was the birds. Apparently crows circled over the boats and attacked the passengers. I had an image of me curled up into a ball protecting my neck and eyes from being plucked out. Dad was joking about getting his gun. The guy looked at him and said he’d probably want it. I didn’t want to see the orcas anymore. I was too scared.

Thoughts

What do these animals mean to me? Orcas are powerful and graceful, but they are also cold-blooded with killer extincts. Crows are smart and loud. I guess the dream is about how I find the powerful/instinctual part of myself [the orca] fascinating, but it also frightens me because it’s not necessarily acceptable. My intellect [the crow] keeps me safe by attacking me whenever I move towards knowing or experimenting with that part of myself. I find this dream so interesting now because I’m just reading some of the Seth Books and many of them are about how we need to get back in touch with our basic impulses if want to live happy, fulfilled lives.

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