Stalking My Golden Shadow

Dream: Undated, Early 2017

I want to get in contact in with Sanaya Roman, a well known channel. Somehow I know where she lives. I go to her house, intending to meet her. She isn’t home, but her door is unlocked. I go inside. At first, I just intend to leave a note. Then I think, I’ll skype her. Only I realize she’ll know the call is coming from inside her house and that would seem creepy. I realize I should go before she gets home. The house is amazing, very beautiful and immaculate. I look at things, picking them up and turning them over. I pick up a glass decanter and look at the way it refracts the light. When I go to put it down, I notice that the counter is wet. The decanter is full of ice. “Oh shit,” I think. They could be home at any minute! I freak out and check to make sure I haven’t moved anything too much. Then I run out of the house. As soon as I’m out, I see Sanaya and her partner coming down the drive. There’s a big party next door. Someone points at Sanaya and yells, “Is that Taylor Swift?” It confuses Sanaya for a moment and gives me a chance to get away. The woman at the party screams my name and says, “You’re back so soon,” as though I’ve been on break or something. I wake up worried that Sanaya will realize what I’ve done.

Thoughts/Meaning

So Sanaya is kind of celebrity to me [hence the Taylor Swift reference in the dream]. I think her work and her books are amazing. For a long time I wanted to be her. With that in mind, I’m pretty sure this dream is about recognizing my Golden Shadow, the positive traits that I project onto others because I refuse to recognize them in myself. Rather than acknowledge my own higher self gifts and abilities, I consider patterning myself after someone else who is successful [I stalk Sanaya in the dream]. It seems less threatening than following my own path. Except, it never works [it’s not my house and I don’t belong there]. I have to forge my own path. We all do.

Interestingly the night I had this dream, I accidentally trespassed through a residential apartment complex. While I was trying to find my way out, I felt a bit voyeuristic. Maybe this dream was also partially trying to process that experience?

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