I was listening to a LightBody meditation, when I realized that I often resist moving into really blissful, flowing states of consciousness. Whenever I start to feel “too good”, there is a part of me that gets scared and shuts everything down. That part of me believes I don’t deserve to feel good and that I will be punished for trying to experience something I don’t deserve. It’s definitely related to some old religious conditioning. Gee thanks Catholic school! Anyways… Near the end of the meditation, I got an image of myself floating on my back above a single perfectly round tree in the middle of a massive green field. While I’m floating, someone (me?) sets the tree on fire and my body gets burned. It burns into ashes, which are carried away by the wind.
Given that I was dealing with some old religious conditioning, the symbol of a burning bush is pretty dramatic. It was after all the way God spoke to Moses (from Exodus: “There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up.”). Interestingly, my burning tree destroys me completely. Maybe that’s my real fear, that if I did come into contact with God there would be nothing left of me. I would just burn up and be destroyed.