Behind the Attraction

Dream: 13/9/2016

I’m back in high school, sitting in the bleachers. My eldest sister introduces me to a guy that she likes, then goes off with her friends to perform. The guy and I start talking. He’s blond and rather old. His face is craggy. He wears a baseball cap. Something about him is magnetic. I can tell he’s slept with my sister but he doesn’t actually like her. I have to do a medical school thing. Before I go, I tell the guy that Jamie’s British friend who he’s been oggling is not available. He looks at me, surprised that I can read him. I can tell that he likes me. He tells me to go do my thing and then come find him. I notice that he’s incredibly tall. I go to the open area nearby where the medical teachers are getting people to look into microscopes (periscopes?). They’re made for tall people, and I have to stand on my tippy toes to see through the lens. When I look, I see nothing but a girl on the other side of the field. I yawn. This class will be boring. I ask the teacher when the lecture will be and she looks at me blankly. “Just follow me…” she says. I shake my head. I go over to another teacher.  “It’s so….dear, I don’t know…” Now I’m annoyed. I want to go back and see the guy! Finally, I run into a teacher who asks me if I’m hormonal. I say, “No, I’m just stressed because I want to do good in this class.” I’m walking with her. She walks down some metal stairs and starts reciting a riddle and about wheat and nuts. We go to the bottom and I say chaff because I think that’s a what a bundle of wheat is called. She smiles and claps her hands and says, “You’ll do fine!” She tells me where the lecture will be held and when. I leave her. I run back to the quad, but I run into a lot of blocks. There are people blocking the stairs. There are scores of people trying to get through the gate. Twice people think I’m someone else. I notice that if it’s a guy, I’m immediately excited. I’ve been starved for male attention and affection. Eventually, I find him. He smiles at me. We walk to an area that’s quieter. It’s so easy to talk to him! And he likes me! Upon a bridge in the distance, we see 4 giant dobermans walking along. The bridge is super high and they’re so big that they block the cars. I point at them. The guy nods, then looks at me and pulls me into his arms. “Do you have a boyfriend?” He asks. My hands are on his lower stomach, which is slightly distended in a lump. I push away. “Yes,” I say. “You’re being stupid,” he says, “being with someone like that.” He tells me how James can’t give me what I want, etc… I realize how ugly this man actually is. I wake up.

Note: I had this dream after spending lots of time rubbing my abdomen and wondering why I sometimes look and walk like I’m pregnant.

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