Healing a Grudge

Meditation Upon Waking: 25/6/2016

Had a vivid dream, but couldn’t quite pull the memory to the surface. Got to thinking about Dianna (an ex-teacher who was invested in keeping me small). There is still a part of me sending mean thoughts her. I go to investigate. There is a part of me that is very “eye-for-an-eye”. I want to punish Dianna for what she did and how she hurt me. I talk to that part of myself. I tell her that nothing happens without our consent on some level and that she is using these past events to stay powerless. She says it’s still uncomfortable and painful. Something unravels and she lets go of her grudge against Dianna. There is a golden door that we pass through. On the other side is a meadow. A man is standing there. This part of me runs up and kisses him. He’s a version of my partner James, but stronger and more self-assured. He thanks me for bringing back his wife. Then he talks to me about my James. He says I need to honor James’s gentle, quietness because when I get extremely busy (which I will), this peace will be necessary.

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