3 A.M. Thought #7

What if I didn’t have to lose weight? What if I am perfect just as I am? What if how I am was considered beautiful by society? My body is beautiful just as it is. I am beautiful just as I am.

Things I no longer have to do:

  • worry about what I ate or how much
  • try on clothes that are too small
  • pretend I’m always on  diet
  • worry about what other people’s think
  • stress about how I’m not good enough because I’m not thin

What I can do:

  • Buy clothes! Dress my style. No more waiting until I can fit into the ideal size. No more looking for ways to make myself look thin.
  • Dance
  • Quit the gym. I don’t like it.
  • Go for walks because I like to walk

Sometimes I worry that being fat is contagious. Something I can catch by a) associating with fat people or b) thinking about fat people. I feel repulsed by excess fat because I’m afraid it might happen to me. And why am I afraid? Because according to society, being fat makes me unacceptable, worthless. I worry about being marginalized.

Why do I see my body as a problem to be fixed, as the enemy? Because it keeps me under control. If I’m obsessed with what I’m eating and spending hours at the gym, I don’t have time or energy to do much else. My body is actually fine. I can trust it. My body is my friend!

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