The Man Inside My Head

Dream: Undated, sometime in early 2015

I’m sitting near a window at night with a friend, chatting about life, having a laugh. Suddenly, I realize that a man is staring in at us from the dark outside. His face is conveyed by a black, almost featureless mask that is terrifying when the light catches it. I yell at him, but he doesn’t go away. Says he’s just watching. Creep! I close the blinds, but he sticks his face in through them. I punch him with the end of a pole and he stumbles back. Then I close the curtains and my friend and I continue. The next night, I sit by another window. I am visiting someone else and the man is there peering in. I realize that he is watching me all the time and that there is nothing I can do. I wake up terrified and disturbed.


The man is the personification of the patriarchal values that come from my cultural conditioning and live deeply entwined with my thoughts. I guess if you’re a western woman exposed to Christianity, you end up with a controlling man inside your head.


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