Dream: Undated, sometime in early 2015
I’m at some kind of field camp in the woods. They have strict rules but all I want to do is play in the river and kiss my boyfriend (Gabe). I’m excited that he likes me even though I’m fat. When they find out we were jumping in the river, the camp leader comes to find me and my friends. We are in the shower block. One of the girls steps outside and they start shooting. My other friends try to escape. Some get shot. One gets dragged behind a horse. I walk out. I don’t care if they shoot me. They’re going to do what they’re going to do. I walk up to them, and they take me prisoner. A guy comes and starts telling me how they just wanted to keep us safe from the bears. He says he killed one. I become infuriated and break my handcuffs. I start yelling at him, “You’ve never fought a bear. I know because I have and you would be way more cut up! It was the worst moment of my life!” I get him to stand on a yellow door trap. I pull the lever and he falls into a vat of bear piss that hunters use so bears won’t scent them. I pull him out. I stood up for myself and now people won’t bother me. I tell everyone I’m going back to look for Gabe. Someone says he will be fine. I negate his sentiment and say something like, “Why? Because good things follow me?”
This dream reminds me of my time in high school [Gabe was my sweetheart at that time]. The punishments are totally disproportionate to the crimes [they shoot people for going into the river] and sentences are carried out in the name of keeping people safe [from bears]. Except, I’ve already experienced the worst [I’d fought off a bear]. They can’t keep me safe from something that has already happened, and I’m annoyed that they would try. In the dream, I’m obviously scarred from the experience and believe that I need to keep people at a distance.