Dream: Undated, sometime in mid-2014
I’m with a group. We’re going swimming/running. Mrs Reed, my PE teacher from high school, is yelling at us. She believes you should work out until you’re skinny. According to her, if you’re not skinny, it’s because your lazy. When we get to the work out place, I can’t find a secure place to put my stuff. I end up hiding it under someone else’s bag. I go for a drink of water, but the water comes out of a fish tank and I think that’s weird. People are lapping me because I’m taking too long to get ready. I get on the track and start running, but I hate running so I start to jump instead. I jump and jump and I jump so high that I’m above it all. After a while, I realise I can fly and control my path using my arms. I jump one final time and feel like I’m swimming in the air. The gym class has stopped and they’re watching me. I realize I’m in a harness and my grandma is next to me in another harness. There’s a piece of dead skin in my harness and she keeps trying to get it. In doing so, my harness completely tangles and I fall out. I’m hanging there, feeling scared when I wake up.
I feel like American society places a lot of expectations on women [workout, be skinny, keep up, etc…], but that none of those things have value for me [I just want to fly away]. I don’t like being controlled. I want to be free. Except when I finally get away from the society [I’m swimming freely in the air], I find I’m still constrained [the harness]. I carry with me old family patterns [dead skin] that need to fall away. The problem is that those patterns are all I know, so I’m afraid to let them go.