Dream: Undated sometime in mid-2014
*Trigger warning – contains sexual violence
I’m a man. I’m looking for a girl (romantic?) that has been kidnapped. A lady helps me get directions to the mansion where she’s being held after I almost crash a helicopter looking for it. When I get there, the kidnapper has the girl all tied up in a room with a big M on the wall in red. He isn’t paying any attention to her because his men are trickling into the room. He’s clearly planning something. I challenge him to a duel once he realizes I’m there. He laughs and then we fight. I’m no match for him, but he doesn’t kill me because he’s distracted by his men. He has his assistant take the girl and throw her in a cell. They put me in a room nearby. When they let me out, I demand to see the girl. The guy has just come out of her room naked and I’m convinced that he raped her. I go in and she’s pulling white styrofoam balls out of her hips/vagina. I ask if he hurt her. She says no. He couldn’t get her wet so he got frustrated. I see a small hole in the window and suggest that we jump. She laughs. “They won’t kill me,” she says. “I asked them not to.” I nod but don’t understand.
The M stands for masochism. A lot of this dream reminds me of fifty shades of grey. At around the time of this dream, there was heavy advertising for the first movie. So maybe this is me processing that? I think that movie is horrific by the way since it essentially promotes abusive relationships based on power/control as the road to happiness and fulfillment. In the dream, the theme of male dominance is clear. What gets to me is the psychology of the so-called victim. She has a chance to escape but doesn’t take it. Instead she tries to assert herself within the one-sided situation. To me, that’s the worst part about the masochistic psychology, the victim ends up hurting themselves further in order to find some way of feeling empowered within a completely hopeless situation. They’re attached to the system because it gives them a place and role, even if it’s a negative one. Eventually in order to exist within it, they become as manipulative as their abusers and the cycle repeats.